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Like, I'm playing with fire — the Knowledge Is Power advantage and the fact is this knowledge has become commonplace. Everybody knows about it. How powerful is it? And does it become a liability if I don't play it right now? But generally, when I sat down I was like, "I think Xander has this on his body. If I would have asked Evvie, "Do you have the idol? So, it was gambling the entire time.

But I still stand by my decision. I wanted to play a hard game and I did, and, you know, it happens. So what about this revelation in a secret scene that Xander had a bit of a crush on you and found you really attractive? I was like, "Oh my God, that is the cherry on top — that this entire time he has this little crush on me. I'm like, "I don't care how big of a crush you have on me, I just want you out of the game. I think it's a fun thing for people to watch and see, because it makes our season interesting, but that really like just made me laugh.

I was like, "Oh my God, this game. It made a lot of other people laugh as well. Okay, let's talk about the decision to tell Shan that Deshawn and Danny were targeting Ricard. Was that a strategic move, a personal move, or both? Something really important to me coming into the game was that I played with authenticity.

And something I really valued was me and Shan's relationship, and that moment we had at the summit. And so, that day I was weighing a lot of things, and I wasn't sure if I should blindside Shan or keep her as my ally.

And anytime you're giving truths to another player, you're taking risks, right? So, I knew that, and I really value this connection. So I went ahead and told her, and, you know, that ended up backfiring.

Everyone has a best friend, and she told her best friend, and, you know, it got back to me. So I think you go into this game and you're like, "I'm not gonna tell anyone anything. I really wanted to build this sense of trust with her, and I did trust her and thought that was a way to do it. That's the way I played the game, and I wanted to have that authenticity. That's something that, again, I gambled with.

I did want to sit with Shan at the end. Like when I was talking to her, I said, "I don't care if people might think you're the better player than I am — I would take that challenge.

That's a risk I'm willing to take sitting with you at the end. At that point in time, it was a decision I made. I was like, "Well, by telling you this, I'm resolidifying our bond, and I want to go to the end with you.

I don't know if you watch Big Brother, but I'm assuming you have at least heard about the Cookout. What was it like for you hearing about that all-Black alliance forming on day one and going all the way to the end when you all — who competed before Big Brother started — could not quite get that done? My values were important going into the game.

And so when I get to merge and Danny and Deshawn are like, "Oh, we should do this Black alliance thing,"… like, I didn't walk in there like, "We need to do a Black alliance. So I was like, "You know, I value this. This is something I take seriously. If you say that, then I assume you're gonna mean that. And then furthermore, at the Shan vote at eight, you know, World War II was already brewing amongst us, right? World War II can happen, but at eight, numbers wise, I'm like, this makes no sense for them to not knock out Erika with me and Shan.

We're in the majority! We can have this vote and then have World War II after that. But you'd be really silly not to. And we'd be silly to write Deshawn — me and Shan. I'm like, "They're not going to do that. That doesn't make sense. That's stupid. That's emotional. And so, like I said, I valued what they said when we came to merge.

And furthermore, in terms of the societal piece of it, I value what that meant for viewers watching, and what that represented for me. So it was hard to see that dynamic on Big Brother — and that contrast.

But it's also like, this is a million-dollar game, and it's cutthroat, and that does happen. Values you have outside the game are hard to bring through when you're competing and blindsiding people essentially.

What is something that happened out there we never got to see that you wish had made it on air? Just Yase camp life. We were just so fun. I wish they showed me and Evvie's first interaction. When I first met Evvie, we looked at each other and were like, "I think you're someone I want to work with.

If you don't write my name down, I'm not going to write your name down. And we all built the shelter together, and were so proud we had created it. We felt so good about that. So I feel like people would have loved the dynamic of our camp life, and that's the trade-off of having more advantages in the game and getting to see less camp life.

I think viewers would have really, really loved to see that. Finally, what's it been like on the Georgetown campus being on national TV every week? I was always making fire. And then you see the scene where I just strike it once and it lights up. I'm like, "Oh, my God, this could be it. I could just step in and do it. And that's the fault in my game is that I showed the fear of not stepping in, which I think is a stupid precedent that you have to step in.

I won the challenge. I shouldn't have to, but I understand that the jury wanted me to step in and show that confidence. But I couldn't help but think, "What if I step in and lose? People are saying, "You could have won! I wanted to get to the end. And I needed to know whether or not I was going to win.

And honestly, I'm really, really glad. I wouldn't have changed a thing, because I played the best I could with the cards that I was dealt. I thought about that too.

And I think it would've been awesome if I had stacked the blocks, and I just threw it, like a physical throwing of the challenge. It would've been really cool on TV, but I'm not sure.

I think the jury had been out on me for a long time. I played a game that was too showing the tender side of me, but then the brain in me is also willing to do anything to get to the end. And people just didn't like that I blended that like, "Hey, I care about you, and I want to get to know you, and I want to learn what makes you tick and figure out what's important to you in life. But I'm also going to do whatever's best for me, because I'm out of here playing my game.

I don't think that there's a scenario in which I win. The one thing that they seemed to react pretty negatively to was your take on the Deshawn truth bomb.

What led you to believe that the jury was anti-Erika when that went down? All you have to work with is facial expressions. And you're looking at the jury.

I was always checking to make sure how people were reacting. And at a certain point, there are a lot of egos out there, and a lot of people still want to matter in the game.

So a lot of people were making lots of faces and scoffing and saying things, and it's hard to grasp when there are so many different reactions and so many in quick sequence and succession. I'm sure that I just mistook their scoffs for Heather as scoffs for Erika. It's funny because, I knew. I just didn't know what the jury was thinking in terms of her game. Because even she said it: She played a very similar game to Heather.

They were lockstep the whole time, and some people might think that, "Oh, maybe she's just done everything with Heather. And the jury really didn't like Heather, which I think was also a bad read. Like me, I really liked Heather. I was strategizing once in the shelter, and she just said out of nowhere, "Your parents are going to be so proud.

I'm thinking "What can I do from here? And I was like, "Oh, my God. Heather's such a motherly figure out here.

I really wanted her to have that fire moment. And I practiced with her all day, and I thought she could do it. You saw how I played the game. I gambled. I gambled every time, and I always went all in, balls to the wall. So for me, it was like, it's all or nothing. I'm going to say, "Heather is going to win this, and Heather's going to win this.

It was a poor jury read on my end because I thought that Erika played a good game. Is there anything that didn't make it into an episode this season that you wish we could have seen? This is the hardest thing about the final Tribal setup. There's no intro speech. There's no outro speech. It's just question and answer.

So if you have something that you haven't told anyone about, well, then it's never going to get said because nobody's going to ask you the question on it. So one of my favorite days is when — and I talked about it with my other interview with you about feeling so down — my lowest point was after Evvie [was voted out]. I woke up that morning, and I said, "You know what?

I'm going to rain hell on camp. I'm going to do whatever I can to shake things up and just spread chaos. I'd torn up my actual letter because Naseer had me do it. He was like, "Oh no, they don't know about the idol. So tear it up. So I put some of the old tree mails in there, and I planted it. And I grabbed the camera guys and like, "Hey, get ready for this! They want me gone. So this is going to be my chance to like, "Oh, my God, what does he have now? What's he doing now? And this is actually the beginning of the secret scene where I'm looking for an idol [and Liana follows Xander around], but I actually planted the thing.

So I go out to look for the idol, and I grab [the fake one I made]. I run away. Liana and Deshawn are chasing me, and it's just rained. It was storming all night, and I slip, I wipe out, and I check my pockets. Description Technical Edit. This an app for sharing anything anytime anywhere without any wireless networks with computers and pc and also laptops.

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